A Two-Year-Old’s Guide to Your Freedum

I am Francis and I am two years old. I am writing this post because I am hearing that some big boys and girls do not want to wear a diaper on their face (they call this a face mask). They do not want to wear this because it “impinges on their freedum.”

Big boys and girls, I feel your pain!

No one should ever have to do anything that impinges on their freedum, believe me, I know. My freedum is impinged on all the time!

I will now count the ways my freedum is impinged on with my fingers, but only up to three because that is how high I can count on my fingers.

I will be three in December.

Car Seats

Car seats most definitely impinge on my freedum like they do on the boy in this picture.

Does he look comfortable?


Mommy says the govurnment and scientists say I must be in a car seat because it is “important for my safety and protects my well-being.”

But what if they are making this up? I’m sure they are.

I’m two, so I know these things!

I do not need a car seat to stay safe, I need to ride in the trunk with my sister’s cat Hairball or drive the car all by myself in my purple cowboy hat.

That’s my two cents, ha ha.


Many big boys and girls do not want to wear a diaper on their face, aka a face mask because it is uncomfortable. You know what else is uncomfortable?


Yes, wearing pants very much impinges on my freedum, but my mommy makes me wear them and gets very, very mad when I take them off in the grocery store.


Mommy is very much like the govurnment and doctors. What does she know?

The potty

Ok, so big boys and girls do not want to wear a diaper on their face, aka face mask, but I very, very much want to wear a diaper on my butt, aka butt mask.

Mommy says I need to start going pee pee in the potty like a big boy, but will I do this?


The potty very, very much impinges on my freedum!

The doctor told mommy going on the potty will help my diaper rash but I am two and I can have diaper rash if I want to have diaper rash. This is my right and freedum.

I will never go pee pee in the potty. Never, never, never!!

*This message has been brought to you by the People Against Car Seats, Pants, Potties, Face Masks and Common Sense.



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Rebeccah’s World

Rebeccah’s World

I like to write about stuff and laugh whilst crying inside. For more about me and my writing, check out rebeccahdean.com